August 19, 2024

I shared briefly about a family event - my step-father is soon to depart from this world.  I've been in a hospital room these days in Superior, Nebraska.   We are staring the enemies of pain, suffering, and death in the face.   They are not pretty.   Oh, how can we not see sin for what it is?  How can we not connect the dots that this "minor discretion" that I may obstinately be allowing now is what caused this curse of tragedy on mankind?  We just don't see it.  

But we do see and experience the pain, eventually.    It is hard and the hours are long - and even exhausting - in a hospital room as we wait.   Dad has been listening to hymns and he's heard the gospel a few times.  He's a really good listener right now as he isn't communicating much beyond that.  I just wish we had a few more days of him being lucid. There are a few things more to be said.  He needs to hear of Jesus one more time.   It would certainly do my heart good to see and hear a response.  

I need a dad.  I always wished I had a good one.  Between losing my biological father to an accident when I was a year-and-a-half old to growing up with a step-dad who did not model godliness, there was a lack.   Around the age of twenty, I was confronted with the gospel and got saved.   Amazingly, that cry of my heart for "dad" was aided by our Heavenly Father.   He's my Father!  But, not completely the same as there is something about a physical, walking, talking person that you call "dad."  

That also speaks to my call.  Part of having a dad means that I am to be a son.  I hope I'm doing well with that right now.  I don't think my step-dad had it in him to be a great dad. . .  perhaps none of us do apart from the Lord fitting us that way.  But, I can still love him as my dad and do my best to be the type of son that any father would want.  So, I'm shedding tears, kissing him, holding his hand, talking to him about Jesus, singing songs, telling him I love him.   And, saying "goodbye."